Part 114 · ~3 min read

Sonya called me, Mario’s girlfriend, and she claimed to be depressed and that she had thought of going to London to see Mario and tell him that she could not live without him. I asked her if she wanted to meet, and we did. She was really in a bad state. Frankly, I barely recognised her. She looked aged, pale, spoilt, just… depressed, as she said she was. She cannot accept the big change in her life and cannot understand what goes through Mario’s head these days. I told her that nothing had changed in Mario’s head; he was the usual selfish man, and I told her about New York plans to give her a factual example of how he is. He loves exploiting people, he was born like that sucking from a golden nipple and that think is incontrovertible. She blamed “another woman” for the way he was acting while I could not tell her to use the plural as; however, it would have looked like bitching more than supporting her. But my silence was worse than an admission, so I don’t know if I did well.

Her father has offered to send her overseas for some time to do a course and take a break, but she doesn’t want to leave because of her voluntary job, so she is stuck in Rome with the ghost of the most selfish person she (and I) has ever met.

We will meet sometime soon.

I called Mario, trying to reach him, but he didn’t pick up his calls, so I just let it go.

I cannot get over my friend’s behaviour. I have not heard from her since, and I do not know where she could be while I write. I hope she is fine, and while I am sorry I made her think that something would have happened between us, I am relieved. I have someone in my heart, and even if this love is impossible, I will keep loving Bonnie despite all the faults and difficulties in understanding that bloody character she has got.

I dream of her nearly every night. I gave up a good career in the States and renounced offers in Britain just to be close to her, but love seems to be running away from me. I wanted to tell her I had loved her for many years, but she would laugh at me, and I risked breaking our friendship. I see her changing partners so often and, very frequently, I hope I were one of her partners, even if only for one night… I know it will never happen as she takes me too much for granted and thinks that I am just a good friend.

I wish she were here now. It’s 3 p.m., and I am getting so bored. I should rest a bit. Summer is so long this year, and while our politicians argue about escorts, immunities, splitting the country, and nature killing people in Sicily, helped by the Italian political class’s ineffectiveness, the heat doesn’t seem to cease.

Catch later, people!