Part 012 · ~3 min read

Up your ass!

This is the message for the asshole that has touched my ass in the metro this morning. I wonder what men find in touching someone’s ass. Do they think that we get excited? I wonder what they feel when they take someone against her or even his will. Cowards! Losers! In a society where sex is so widely available unless you have some physical issues, I don’t understand why people need to force someone to have sex. Years ago, my name was on the papers in my town because I reported two men for raping me. Still now after more than 20 years I have nightmares and they are all the same.Two big men, two of my father’s best friends, took me violently after inviting me with them to the beach not far from home. They threatened me to report my father to the police for some crime he committed years before and threatened me to do the same to my mother and my younger sister if I had spoken. It took my father’s death for me to report them to the police. They escaped jail, denying everything, and I had no proof, except for my scarred soul and my nightmares that cannot be shown to a court or a doctor. I spoke because I was attacked by a group of skinheads while walking with my girlfriend. They started abusing us heavily. My girlfriend was really scared as she was not so used to this stupid and violent behaviour being herself from the Netherlands, but I reacted, and I hit one of them with the umbrella I had and passed his bowels. They stopped, and I waited for the police after my girlfriend called them. I got 3 years in jail with the suspension of the sentence due to some sort of benefits you get if you have never been sentenced before. I decided to talk after that, and I wanted to see my rapists at the bar. Pointless saying where the whole trial felt like I was raped again, and this time by the judge and by the Italian people, in the name of which the two rapists were declared “not guilty”. I am sorry to say this, but I cannot sleep with a man and not even think of one touching me. I could do anything if a man touched me. Following the trial, my girlfriend left me because I had never told her about this story and about another story I had before with another woman who introduced me to cocaine and LSD. It all came out during the trial. They called some girls that I had never seen before to testify against me for trying to get my pussy licked between the age of 10 and 20… I was never so humiliated in my whole life. I do not wish to anyone something like this to happen again, but if it does happen, report them immediately and try to get a good lawyer, not the crappy one I got that, thank God, has died of what I thought I had caught after rape: AIDS. I was going to tell you how I met Romano, but now I have written enough and got upset. Sorry, I will tell you more next time. Today, by the way, the classes were good. A few new girls joined, and a few guys dropped out. I am happy! I didn’t see the two guys who came yesterday, and I am pretty excited because last night, in my dream, my usual nightmare, it was the two of them raping me and not my usual rapist. I don’t know why this has happened, but I remember clearly the arrogant bastard pushing himself into me as if I were a rubber doll. I hope he will not come back.