Part 089 · ~2 min read

Back to nightmares.

Last night, I had a nightmare. It was a dream initially—a good dinner with great fun with Mario and another guy. We ended up in my apartment to continue drinking. The guy was a good friend of mine, and the place we were in my dream was mine, but I had never seen it before. We started talking sex, and somehow Mario was left naked with a hard-on while I was looking at his cock very closely and playing with it but without any intention of having sex with it. My friend told me to try it, and I refused because it stunk. He went to wash himself in this big huge bathroom. His pants were so dirty; they had turned green like they had never been changed. I watched him while embarrassed. He was trying to throw them away somewhere. He hid them behind the bidet. He came out of the bathroom, and I apologised, but it was my turn to use it, and while I was trying to touch up my makeup, with no intention of having sex with him, I realised that I could not see my image in the mirror, just my black dress. I got frightened and when I turned I saw Mario behind me and my friend with him. They started chasing me in this huge bathroom, and I could see their images reflected behind me. It was impossible to see them if I had turned and looked back. They got me and started raping me with such a violence I was as frozen, I could not move anymore. I could not see them on top of me, but I could feel them both inside me and see them reflected in the mirror. I woke up, and I realised that it was all a dream. I was sitting with Mario and this friend in my apartment, talking as if nothing had happened until, once again, Mario ended up naked, and the story was going to start all over again.

I am sure there is a meaning to this. The dream that has haunted me for years seems to change the main actors, but it still stands… People that are friends and innocent that become rapists to satisfy their sadism…

Will I ever get out of this? I thought I was making it, and now I am back into it.

It’s 3 pm, and I am in such a bad mood I don’t fancy eating or going out. The phone had been ringing, probably Mario from his home phone… Please help! I cannot go through these nightmares again!