I just got off the phone with Mario. He was at the gym watching Simona teach Pilates. He didn't say that directly, but I know him too well. I could hear it in the way he was talking. That casual tone he uses when he's pretending something doesn't matter when it actually matters a great deal.
He's going to hurt her. Not intentionally, perhaps. But he will nonetheless.
I've watched him do this before. The slow-motion seduction. The careful attention. The way he makes you feel like you're the most important person in the world for just long enough that you start to believe it. And then, when he's gotten what he wants or lost interest, he disappears.
Sonya doesn't deserve this. But Simona... Simona has the look of someone who has already been hurt in ways that make Mario's games seem almost quaint by comparison.
I should say something to him. I should tell him to stop being such a bastard. But I won't, because that's not how we work. We exist in a space where we pretend not to notice the uglier parts of each other's behavior.
Actually, that's not true. I notice everything. I just don't say anything because I'm already planning how to use it.
New York is looking better and better. Not because I want to escape. But because I need distance to see everything clearly. I need to be away from Mario so that I can observe the whole pattern without him noticing I'm watching.
I'm going to come back. And when I do, everything is going to change.
Comments
Interesting that you're so focused on Mario's behavior toward women. Do you perhaps see him as a mirror of something in yourself?
You're a good friend for being concerned about him. Not everyone has that kind of loyalty.
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