156 recovered entries so far, three separate voices. Each row opens the post in its home blog — there is no navigation between blogs except through this page and the site home.
I'm starting this because I need somewhere to put all the things I can't say out loud. My name is Simona. I'm 29 years old. I live in Rome. I teach Pilates to people who mostly don't care about th…
MarioAnother day at the office. Lunch with Sonya, which was... complicated. She wants to know where this is going. I don't have an answer because I don't know where I want it to go. Away, preferably. T…
FlavioCannot sleep. Rome is too hot, my flat is like an oven, and my mind won't shut up. I have been thinking about New York again. About the year I spent there. About how beautiful everything seemed wh…
MarioWe had lunch yesterday. I think I already wrote about this but it bears repeating because I need to convince myself—and probably her—that something is wrong with her, not with me. She asked me dir…
FlavioI just got off the phone with Mario. He was at the gym watching Simona teach Pilates. He didn't say that directly, but I know him too well. I could hear it in the way he was talking. That casual to…
MarioSonya wants us to have a serious conversation about "the future." That's how she phrased it. Like we're a company that needs a five-year plan instead of two people who stopped connecting somewhere…
FlavioI just got off the phone with Mario. He was at the gym watching Simona teach Pilates. He didn't say that directly, but I know him too well. I could hear it in the way he was talking. He's going to…
SimonaShe wanted to meet at a café near Termini. Neutral ground, I suppose. Neither of us claiming territory. We sat for three hours. Three hours and we talked about everything—her work (something with…
FlavioHe just called me. At one in the morning. Drunk. Or maybe just desperate. Sonya is gone. He said it like she was a possession he'd misplaced. "Sonya is gone, Flavio. She might be pregnant. What am…
SimonaAnneka came by the gym this morning with a lunch invitation. From Mario. For both of us. On Sunday. She thought it was funny. She said, "I think he's trying to seduce both of us at the same time."…
FlavioCan't sleep. Keep thinking about tomorrow. About sitting across from Mario and Simona and Anneka and pretending I don't notice what's happening. The thing about being observant is that you see eve…
SimonaThere's a girl at the gym. Her name is Anneka. She's older than me, maybe 40, with grey in her hair and the kind of presence that makes you feel safe just being near her. She came to my class thre…
SimonaAnneka is asleep on my couch. We're supposed to get up early tomorrow for the lunch. Neither of us is looking forward to it, but we're going anyway. She showered at my place and borrowed one of my…
FlavioI'm driving to the restaurant. Mario is in the car next to me at a red light. He's smoking and looking out the window like he's contemplating his entire life. Maybe he is. I keep thinking about B…
MarioSunday lunch. I've booked a restaurant near the Trevi Fountain. Somewhere touristy enough that it doesn't feel too intimate, but private enough that I can orchestrate what happens. Simona and Anne…
SimonaAnneka and I are back at my place. She's in the kitchen making tea. I'm trying to process what just happened. Mario is different than I expected. Less threatening, somehow. More human. He was nerv…
FlavioThe lunch was exactly what I expected. Mario exposed himself. Simona rejected him. Anneka watched the whole thing like she was documenting a nature program. And I sat there and said nothing. Beca…
MarioSonya told me she's pregnant. Or she might be. She's not sure yet. She hasn't taken the test because she's terrified. And the first thing I felt wasn't joy or fear or responsibility. It was annoya…
MarioToday is the day. I can feel it. Something is about to change. The way the light is coming through my apartment. The way my chest feels tight. The way I keep checking my phone to make sure I haven'…
SimonaAnneka and I went to the beach yesterday. Just for the day. We drove down to the coast and sat in the sand and didn't talk much. Sometimes you don't need to. She asked me if I was okay. If the lun…
MarioNot in those words exactly. But the meaning was clear. She said I was interesting. That I seemed capable of real feeling, which surprised her. But that she wasn't interested in pursuing anything w…
FlavioHe told me about Sonya. About the pregnancy. About the fact that he doesn't know what he wants. I told him to figure it out. That he owed it to her and the baby to at least try. But even as I was…
MarioShe called this morning. Early. Like she'd been waiting for the exact moment when I would be vulnerable enough to actually listen. She's pregnant. She took the test. Two pink lines. Definite. And…
SimonaMario came to my Pilates class today. Sat in the back and didn't participate. Afterward, he waited until all the other clients left. Then he asked if we could talk. I said yes, which surprised me…
FlavioTen more days until I leave for New York. I've been thinking about what I'm going to tell Mario before I go. If I'm going to tell him anything. The truth is that I should probably tell him the tr…
SimonaTo move in with her. Not immediately. But eventually. When I'm ready. I said yes before I even finished thinking about it. We're going to look for a place together. Something in San Giovanni mayb…
MarioSimona forgave me. Just like that. Walked away from years of justified anger and said, "Yes. I forgive you." It made me feel worse, not better. I called Sonya. Asked if we could meet. Asked if we…
MarioWe're meeting at a café near the Colosseum in an hour. I don't know what I'm going to say. I don't know if there's any version of this conversation that doesn't end with her hating me. But I'm go…
MarioAnd I am worried about it. No sex, no dates, and I don't even want to see fuck buddies anymore. Nothing at all. I will stay in Rome this weekend. I refused Sonya's offer to go away with her. I don…
FlavioEight more days. I can feel the countdown. The way time accelerates as you approach something. I wonder if this is what it feels like to be reborn. This anticipation mixed with terror. Probably…
SimonaAnneka and I are looking at apartments today. Real apartments. With the intention of actually living in them together. This is real. This is happening. I'm nervous and excited and terrified all a…
SonyaAgosto I'm four months pregnant and I can barely breathe. Mario has been kind. He's been present. He's been trying. But it's not enough. Or I'm not enough. Or we're not enough together. I keep…
MarioWe had lunch yesterday. I think I already wrote about this but it bears repeating because I need to convince myself—and probably her—that I meant what I said. She asked me directly: "Are we doing…
SimonaFound it. A small place in San Giovanni. Two bedrooms, a little balcony, light that comes in from three sides. It's perfect. Anneka and I signed the papers today. She was crying. Happy tears. She…
FlavioFive days until I leave. Mario asked me to come for dinner before I go. Just the two of us. He said he wanted to spend some time together before I'm gone. I said yes, which was a mistake. Because…
FlavioI am not sleepy in New York and feel well and alive. Central Park is out of my window, and a beautiful big room is all for me! I wish Bonnie were here. Tomorrow morning, gym and breakfast and then…
MarioWhat a hot day here in Rome! I went to run early in the morning in Villa Borghese, but even that early was too late. This is just a quick answer to the only "follower" I got on this blog. Thanks…
FlavioSometimes, memories are like dreams: better than reality. When I used to live in New York, everything seemed to be wonderful. I loved everything about it; the "city that never sleeps" was just rea…
SimonaInsomnia again. The nightmares are back. I thought I had moved past this shit but apparently not.
MarioWe're having dinner tomorrow night. Just the two of us. I'm planning to cook, which is a mistake because I can't cook and it will probably be terrible. But I want him to know that I appreciate our…
SimonaAnneka asked me if I wanted to move in with her. She said it casually, like it was no big deal. Like two adults choosing to live together is just a practical decision, not some massive emotional l…
FlavioDinner with Mario was... difficult. He cooked pasta, which was slightly burnt but edible. We drank too much wine. We talked about nothing important. At the end of the night, he hugged me and said…
MarioHe left early this morning. I went to the airport to see him off, though he said it wasn't necessary. At the gate, he turned back one more time. Just looked at me for a long moment without saying…
MarioShort trip to clear my head. London rain, anonymous bars, nobody asking me to be anything I wasn't ready to be. I didn't write much while I was there. I just walked. Rome always pulls me back. It…
SimonaThe apartment is full of boxes. Everything I own is packed up or ready to be packed. It's strange how little space a life actually takes up when you're not accumulating things as a way to prove yo…
MarioSonya's doctor said everything looks good. The baby is healthy. We heard the heartbeat today. It's real. Fully, irrevocably real. I held Sonya's hand while we listened to this tiny sound that is…
FlavioI keep thinking about the last time I talked to Sonya. She seemed fine. Normal. But maybe I wasn't paying attention. Actually, I was paying attention. I was paying attention to everything. I was d…
MarioThe apartment feels different without Flavio dropping by. Without him sitting in the corner watching everyone else live their lives. I've been thinking about calling him. Asking how New York is. A…
SimonaAnneka surprised me with a trip to the coast. We drove down to Sabaudia this morning. To the same beach where I went with her friends weeks ago, when Mario was an active threat in my mind. The dif…
SimonaI got a room in a flat with this gay guy in San Giovanni. I like the place, the building, the area, and the guy himself. Very sweet! I will move next weekend. All perfect: nice room, independent ba…
SimonaIs this what healing looks like? Waking up and feeling like maybe today won't be as hard as yesterday? Going to work and actually engaging with people instead of just performing presence? Coming…
MarioWe decided this afternoon. She's going to start bringing her things over next week. It's happening faster than I expected. But Sonya says the apartment she's been renting is too expensive to keep…
FlavioI am nearing the end of my holiday, and I loved it. I had a great time in NYC despite the heat and humidity, a great relaxing time on the coast of Massachusetts, and two great days in Boston. Let m…
FlavioI've been here for a week and I already miss Rome. Not the city itself. But the certainty of being able to see Mario whenever I want. The knowledge of where he is and what he's doing. Here, I'm t…
SimonaWe're moving today. Anneka is directing traffic like a general. Our friends are here helping. It's chaotic and happy and full of the kind of human connection I've been starving for. The new apart…
MarioShe's moving her boxes into the apartment today. Slowly transforming it from my place into our place. I found her in the bedroom this morning arranging the prenatal vitamins on the nightstand. She…
SimonaWoke up in our apartment. Our bed. With Anneka's arm across my waist. The sun is coming through the window and hitting the wall in a way that makes everything look golden. This is it. This is the…
MarioWhere did August go? Sonya and I are settling into a rhythm. Mornings she's usually nauseous. I make her toast. We sit on the balcony in the early light and don't talk much. It's nice. Quiet. The…
FlavioI've been in New York for three weeks and I still don't know what I'm doing here. My ex offered me work. Said there's a consulting firm that would love to hire someone with my background. Said I c…
SimonaStarted at the gym in San Giovanni today. It's smaller than Romano's place. More intimate. The clients are a mix of locals and people from surrounding neighborhoods. I taught an afternoon class a…
MarioSonya is four and a half months pregnant now. I can see the bump when she's not hiding it under baggy clothes. It's real. She's real. This is happening whether I like it or not. I went to therapy…
FlavioHad too much wine at a restaurant with my ex tonight. Told him about Mario. Not everything, but enough that I could see him starting to understand. "Oh," he said. "Oh, Flavio." I said, "Don't. D…
SimonaTwo weeks in the new apartment. Two weeks in the new job. Two weeks of this new life. It's becoming real. Not the exciting, surreal newness of it anymore, but the solid, grounded reality of buildi…
MarioSonya felt the baby kick today. She grabbed my hand and placed it on her stomach and waited. At first, nothing. And then this small flutter. Like a fish moving beneath the surface. I felt it. I…
FlavioMy ex asked today if I wanted to stay in New York. Said he could help me find a place. Said I could build a life here if I wanted. I said I didn't know. The truth is I don't know. And I'm tired o…
SimonaToday marks one month since Anneka and I met. It feels like a lifetime. It also feels like yesterday. She made me breakfast in bed. We stayed there for hours, just talking about nothing and every…
MarioGot a postcard from Flavio today. It's from the Museum of Modern Art. Very him. He says New York is beautiful and he's thinking about staying longer than planned. Maybe the whole fall. He doesn't…
SimonaHad a completely normal day today. Work was good. Came home. Made dinner with Anneka. Watched a movie. Went to bed. There's nothing remarkable about it. And that's the whole point. My life is re…
FlavioI've decided to stay in New York for September. Maybe longer. My ex helped me find a small apartment in the East Village. Nothing fancy, but it's mine. Or it will be, starting next month. I told…
MarioSonya is about four and a half months along now. We're past the first trimester; the pregnancy feels real in a way it didn't before. She wants to start thinking about names. I'm not ready yet—but…
SimonaThe apartment is becoming more ours every day. Anneka hung photos on the walls yesterday. Pictures of us. Pictures of places we've been together. Photos that document the fact that we exist. I ke…
FlavioSigned the lease today on a small place in the East Village. It's real. I'm staying in New York. Not temporarily. Actually staying. My ex helped me move some boxes in. He didn't ask questions abo…
MarioSonya is showing now. The pregnancy is obvious. She's beautiful in this state—this fullness. This evidence of creation. We had lunch with her parents yesterday. They were kind. Welcoming. They did…
SimonaOne month since we moved into our apartment. It's become home. Not because of the walls but because of who I share it with. Anneka made me breakfast in bed this morning. We stayed there for hours…
FlavioSlept in my new apartment last night. It's small and empty and exactly what I need right now. I stood at the window looking out at the city and thought about Rome. About Mario. About the person I…
MarioSonya is five months pregnant now. We went to the doctor today. Heard the heartbeat again. She was crying the whole time. I was thinking about Simona. I know how that sounds. I know I'm supposed…
MarioGot an email from Flavio today. He's found an apartment in New York. He's staying through the fall, maybe longer. He said Bonnie encouraged him to follow his heart and build something new. Which…
SimonaIt's September. Three months since I met Anneka. Two months since we moved in together. I'm different now. Not healed. I don't think I'll ever be "healed." But functional. Present. Capable of actu…
FlavioI miss Rome. Not the city itself, particularly. But the certainty of it. The rhythm of my days. The proximity to Mario. Here in New York, I'm anonymous. No one knows me. No one is waiting for me.…
MarioSeptember is almost over. Sonya and I are settling into something that feels sustainable. Not perfect, but real. The baby is due in about two and a half months. We've started looking at birthing…
SimonaIt's been one month since I started teaching at the gym in San Giovanni. I have more clients now. People are asking for my classes specifically. I've become part of the community. This feels righ…
FlavioSeptember is ending. I've been in New York for exactly one month. I have an apartment. I'm building a routine. I'm seeing my ex and his friends regularly. And I'm still lying about Bonnie. Still…
MarioOctober is here. The weather is starting to cool. Rome in autumn is beautiful. The tourists are thinning out. The city is returning to itself. Flavio isn't here to see it. But life goes on. Sony…
SimonaI feel at peace for the first time in years. Not constantly. There are still moments where the old fear creeps in. Moments where I feel small and broken and like I deserve to suffer. But those mo…
SimonaFlavio came into the gym today. Mario's best friend. He introduced himself after class. Asked me to coffee. Something about him made me uncomfortable in a way I couldn't articulate. Not predatory,…
FlavioMario looked older on the screen. He asked about Bonnie; I lied smoothly. The lie tasted like metal. After we hung up I sat in the dark a long time.
SimonaI know what's happening now. Mario is obsessed with me. But he's with Sonya. And Flavio is obsessed with Mario. And no one is actually capable of real love—we're all just circling each other like…
SimonaTeaching a 7 a.m. class. Bodies waking up slowly. Anneka left me a thermos of tea with a stupid drawing on the lid. I almost cried in the locker room. Happy tears. I'm not used to them.
MarioSonya is five and a half months pregnant. I can feel the baby moving now when I put my hand on her stomach. The doctor said it's normal. I'm supposed to feel bonded or amazed or something. Instead…
FlavioFall in New York is different than fall in Rome. Here, the trees turn colors that seem almost violent in their intensity. The whole city shifts. Everything becomes urgent. In Rome, autumn is gent…
FlavioContracts, signatures, tax forms. The kind of adult life I used to outsource to assistants in another life. Being nobody here is exhausting. Also a relief.
MarioWork, appointments, the usual noise. Sonya is fine; I'm fine; nobody believes either of us when we say it. I'm trying to stay in the room when she talks. Not planning my escape in my head. It's ha…
SimonaShe had a work trip to Milan for two nights. I missed her like a limb. Healthy attachment? Terrifying attachment? I don't care. I like missing her.
MarioQuiet weekend. I didn't write because I didn't want to turn every feeling into content. Sometimes silence is the only honest thing left.
FlavioI run until my knees complain. The East River doesn't care about my feelings. I like that about it.
SimonaDr. B. says I'm integrating anger without acting it out. I told her about the vendetta fantasy and she didn't flinch. Progress isn't linear. It's a bruise that slowly fades.
MarioRome is grey. Sonya wanted soup; I burned the first attempt and pretended the second was intentional. Small domestic failures feel safer than the big ones.
MarioWe're almost at six months. The baby is starting to look like a person on the ultrasounds. The doctor pointed out facial features. Sonya cried. I wondered if this was what I was supposed to feel.…
FlavioI've been in New York for two months now. The apartment is starting to feel like home. I'm settling into a routine. Work has come through—my ex's firm is offering me a consulting position starting…
SimonaFlavio asked me to have dinner with him and Mario. Said it would be good for all of us. Neutral ground. A chance to clear the air. I said yes. But not for the reasons he thinks. I'm going to orch…
MarioSonya and I are taking classes. Childbirth preparation. Baby care. How to change diapers. How to swaddle. All the things that seem impossibly complicated right now but apparently become muscle memo…
SimonaRealized something today during my morning meditation. The nightmares don't control me anymore. The trauma doesn't define me. I'm not a victim of what happened to me—I'm a survivor who's actively…
FlavioI've accepted the consulting position. I start in November. A real job. In a real city. That I've decided to stay in. This is commitment. This is what moving forward actually looks like. Except…
MarioOctober is almost over. Six and a half months now. The baby will be here in about two and a half months. The countdown is real. The timeline is accelerating. I'm not going to lie—it's starting t…
SimonaHalloween in Rome. Kids in costumes running through the streets. Anneka and I stayed home. Watched a movie. Held each other. No costumes. No masks. Just us being authentically ourselves. This is…
SimonaWe fought about laundry. Stupid. Then we laughed about fighting about laundry. I used to think love was intensity. Now I think it's repair.
SonyaI'm seven months pregnant and I can barely breathe. Mario has been kind. He's been present. He's been trying. But it's not enough. Or I'm not enough. Or we're not enough together. I keep thinkin…
MarioSix and a half months now. Two and a half months until this becomes real in a way I can't pretend away anymore. I've been thinking about leaving. Not seriously. But the thought sits in my head lik…
SimonaWoke up this morning feeling hopeful. Anneka is still asleep. The sun is coming through the window. The apartment is quiet and warm. This is everything I wanted.
FlavioDomenica mattina, Sonya si e' tolta la vita. I dettagli li tralascio. Che tristezza estrema. Scusate ma ancora non riesco a capacitarmi di cio'... Here it goes. I am so out that I wrote the whole…
MarioShe took her own life this morning. The police came. There were questions. There was... nothing to say. She left no note. The doctor said it was likely a moment of despair. That seven months into…
FlavioMario called me at three in the morning. I thought something had happened to Sonya. Instead he told me she had taken her own life. I didn't know what to say. I don't know what to say now. Mario…
MarioDays are running together. People send condolences like they're forwarding chain mail. I nod. I thank them. I go back to the apartment and stare at the ceiling. The baby kicks. Sonya doesn't.
SimonaFlavio asked if Mario and I wanted to move in with him. Said it would help Mario during this difficult time. Said that the three of us together might create some healing. I knew it wasn't about he…
MarioMaking funeral arrangements. This should be a nightmare but it's just become logistics. The future we were building stopped when she did. There is no child to plan for. Only this. I keep thinking…
MarioWent to Sonya's funeral today. She was so young. So full of potential. So undeserving of this ending. I felt like a ghost. Like I wasn't really there. Like this was something happening to someone…
SimonaWent to Sonya's funeral today. She was so young. So full of potential. So undeserving of this ending. Mario looked like a ghost. Completely hollow. Completely gone. I felt sorry for him. Which s…
SimonaLuigi called. Everyone is shaken. Mario most of all. I feel strange—sad for Sonya, relieved it isn't me, ashamed of that relief. Human, I guess.
SimonaLiving with them is a nightmare. Mario is obsessed with me but emotionally absent. Flavio is performing kindness while orchestrating destruction. And I'm in the middle, trying to maintain power in…
MarioFlavio called and suggested I see someone. A therapist. He said I can't process this alone. He's right. But I don't know where to start. I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling without soundi…
FlavioI've decided to come back to Rome for Christmas. To finish what I started. Mario needs me. He doesn't know it yet, but he will. And when he does, I'm going to be there. And I'm going to destroy ev…
MarioLawyer. Hospital admin. Someone from Sonya's office who cried in my kitchen. I keep a list on my phone so I don't forget who I'm supposed to call back. The list grows faster than I can cross thing…
MarioI need to write this down so that when I'm done, I'll understand what I've been doing. Bonnie doesn't exist. She never has. She's a fiction Flavio created to explain away the fact that he's in lov…
FlavioI need to write this down so that when I'm done, I'll actually understand what I've been doing. Bonnie doesn't exist. She never has. She's been a fiction I created to explain away the fact that I'…
SimonaAnneka and I started meditating together every morning. Just fifteen minutes. Sitting together. Breathing together. Being present. It's changed something in me. Softened something. Made me realiz…
FlavioI've decided. I'm coming back to Rome for Christmas. Mario needs me. And even though it's complicated and painful and everything I'm trying to avoid, I can't say no to him. So I'll go back. I'll…
MarioFlavio is coming back to Rome for Christmas. Just knowing that makes the weight slightly lighter. I won't have to do this alone. He's been my best friend for almost ten years. Through everything.…
SimonaNovember was brutal. But I'm ending it in peace. No vendetta. No plans for revenge. Just a quiet life with someone I love. That's enough. That's everything.
FlavioThirty days until I see Rome again. Thirty days until I see Mario. Thirty days until everything changes or nothing changes. Either way, I'm facing something.
FlavioBonnie has decided to stay in New York for Christmas. She has work obligations that can't be rescheduled. Which is code for: Bonnie doesn't exist and never did, and I've finally decided to stop pr…
MarioThe city is putting up lights. It looks indecent, all that cheer. Flavio texts me stupid memes sometimes. I answer with one word so he knows I'm still here.
FlavioMy ex invited me to dinner with his friends. I went. I smiled. I said I was grateful for Bonnie's understanding. Bonnie's understanding is a ghost eating my dinner.
MarioAnother stretch of days gone. The due date we circled is still on the wall, getting closer, and there is no one to meet it with. I'm not becoming a father. I'm becoming a man who walks past an emp…
FlavioSweaters. Gifts I shouldn't buy. A bottle of whisky for Mario because that's what friends do. I'm not sure what I'm walking back into. I'm doing it anyway.
SimonaLow sun on the buildings. Anneka bought oranges. We're reading on the sofa like an old couple. I don't take these days for granted anymore.
MarioI bought things for a baby I haven't met. Neutral colours. Soft fabric. The cashier was kind. That almost undid me.
FlavioBad espresso in Fiumicino still beats good coffee in the wrong country. That thought is dramatic. I'm leaving it.
FlavioI'm back in Rome. The city looks the same but feels different. Or maybe I'm different. Mario picked me up from the airport. He looked terrible—exhausted and thin and nothing like the confident ma…
MarioHaving Flavio back makes everything feel slightly more manageable. He doesn't ask questions. He doesn't judge. He just shows up and exists in the same space as my grief. That's what I needed. Fl…
SimonaThree days until Christmas. Flavio has orchestrated a dinner. The three of us. And somehow, in the planning of it, I've realized something: I'm not orchestrating anything. I'm being orchestrated.…
SimonaSomething about Mario's messages has changed. Needier. Flavio's too—performative calm. Anneka asked if I want to cancel the visit to their place. I said no. That might have been pride talking.
MarioIt's bloody impossible to live with him. Even worse, knowing that he is trying to get my girlfriend. His attentions to Simona drive me nuts! Sleeping in the same room is a true nightmare, and if I…
FlavioAfter dinner last week, it was decided that we would move in together, the three of us, to my apartment. Simona, Mario, and I will stay for some time at my place so that Simona can decide who will…
SimonaI read Flavio's diary today. It was an accident at first. His notebook was open on the kitchen table and I was looking for the Christmas menu. But once I started reading, I couldn't stop. He's i…
SimonaI'm writing this while I'm in the bathtub. The water is warm. My wrists are open. There's a strange peace in finally surrendering to what I've always known to be true: I don't deserve to live. No…
SimonaI can't do this anymore. The healing. The recovery. The belief that I could rebuild myself and become someone who matters. I was right about one thing: I survived what was supposed to destroy me.…
MarioFlavio is here. Simona is here. The flat smells like someone else's cooking. I'm so tired I'm beyond fear. That's probably not a good sign.
FlavioThe three of us are a photograph nobody asked for. Simona hums. Mario pretends he's fine. I pretend I'm fine too. One of us has to be good at it.
SimonaToo much wine. Too much history in one room. Anneka texted from her parents' that she loves me. I held the phone like a lifeline. Tomorrow I'll pretend I don't know what I know.
SimonaGoodbye, everyone. I am returning to where I was meant to be for so long.
MarioI found Simona this morning. I can't write more than that—not yet. The water was red. Her wrists were open. Flavio was somewhere in the apartment and I couldn't move. The rest is noise. Ambulance…
FlavioI'm standing behind Mario while he reads Simona's final words. I can feel his devastation. His guilt. His belief that he caused this. He's wrong. But I'm not going to correct him. Instead, I'm g…
FlavioThe apartment is full of strangers in uniforms. Mario won't look at me. I should say something true. I can't.
MarioI found Simona in the bathtub this morning. Her wrists are open. The water is dark red. She's been gone for maybe an hour. Maybe more. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. Flavio is som…
SimonaThe sex happened. It was everything I planned and nothing like I expected. Flavio was triumphant. Mario was barely present. I was orchestrating something that I told myself was revenge but was rea…
Luigi P.Dear Reader, I tip my hat to whatever god you believe in. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for following our three bloggers on their turbulent ride — your dedication to this tale does not g…