The invitation

Sonya wants us to have a serious conversation about "the future." That's how she phrased it. Like we're a company that needs a five-year plan instead of two people who stopped connecting somewhere around May.

I told her we could talk about it next week. I need time to figure out what I'm going to say. Do I tell her the truth? That I've fallen in love with someone else and have been using her as a comfortable place to sleep while I figure out my next move? Or do I do the gentlemanly thing and just say that I need space and time to think?

Flavio would tell me to be honest. Flavio is always advocating for honesty, even though I suspect he's lying about something fundamental about himself. But he would never admit it.

I invited Simona and Anneka to lunch this weekend. Well, I invited them both separately, but I made sure the invitation overlapped so they'd both be there. I'm curious about the dynamic. There's something happening between those two that's not quite friendship but not quite anything else either.

Plus, having them both there means Simona can't just ignore me. She has to acknowledge that I exist.

I know how this sounds. I know I'm being manipulative and self-serving and all of the things that Sonya keeps accusing me of being.

I don't care. At least not enough to stop.