Flavio called and suggested I see someone. A therapist. He said I can't process this alone.
He's right. But I don't know where to start. I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling without sounding like a complete sociopath.
Devastation. Guilt. Responsibility about the baby. But underneath all of that, a small, shameful voice that's relieved Sonya is gone because it validates my own unhappiness. Like her pain proves I was right to be thinking about leaving.
I'm going to find a therapist. Not because I want to change. But because I need someone to help me perform the role of a man who wants to change.
Comments
Yes, Mario. Please reach out for professional support. This is too much to carry alone.
What you wrote is brutally honest. That honesty is the only thread worth pulling in therapy—if you stop performing for one hour a week, something might move.
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