Healing

Is this what healing looks like?

Waking up and feeling like maybe today won't be as hard as yesterday?

Going to work and actually engaging with people instead of just performing presence?

Coming home to Anneka and feeling safe instead of terrified?

I think this is healing. Or at least the early stages of it.

I told Anneka about what happened. About the trauma. About why I couldn't look in mirrors for three years. About the shame that lived in my body like a permanent guest.

She listened without trying to fix it. Without telling me I should be over it by now. Without making it about her.

And then she held my hand while I cried. And she didn't say "everything will be okay" because we both know that's a lie.

She just said: "You're not alone anymore. I'm here."

That's the thing about real healing. It doesn't happen in dramatic moments. It happens in small gestures. In people who show up consistently. In the decision to believe that you might deserve good things.

I'm starting to believe that.