After lunch

Anneka and I are back at my place. She's in the kitchen making tea. I'm trying to process what just happened.

Mario is different than I expected. Less threatening, somehow. More human. He was nervous. Actually nervous. His hands were shaking slightly when he picked up his fork. He kept dropping things. Making jokes that weren't funny.

He told me he was interested in me. He said it directly, without games or seduction or any of the usual bullshit. He just said, "I know this is strange and probably unwelcome, but I've been watching you and I'm fascinated by you and I would like the opportunity to know you better."

Anneka laughed. Actually laughed out loud. And then she said, "That's the least smooth thing I've ever heard. And somehow I believe you mean it."

Flavio watched the whole thing happen with this expression on his face that I can't quite read. Sadness, maybe. Or something else.

The honest truth is that Mario triggered me less than I expected. But that doesn't mean I'm interested. That just means I'm healing a little bit.

When I told him that, he looked devastated. Actually devastated. Like he'd been counting on me to save him from something.

I felt bad for him. Which is strange. I didn't expect to feel anything but anger toward him.

Anneka held my hand the whole lunch. That helped.