Empty apartment

The apartment feels different without Flavio dropping by. Without him sitting in the corner watching everyone else live their lives.

I've been thinking about calling him. Asking how New York is. Asking if he's okay.

But I don't know what Bonnie would say if she knew he was keeping in contact with me. So I don't call.

It's stupid. But it's also somehow protective of the thing he's built with the fiction of her.

Sonya is talking about moving in. Not immediately. But eventually. After the baby is born and we figure out if we can actually make this work.

The thought terrifies me. Domestic life. Responsibility. The slow death of my independence.

But it also feels right. Like maybe this is what I'm supposed to be doing instead of floating from one woman to the next, chasing something I can never quite catch.